Things Men Don’t Know about Real American Women

Heather with a Marilyn Monroe style pose
28 Things Men Don’t Know about Real American Women

I think this the most important one; – Don’t try to figure out what will make us happy. We have been trying to get to the bottom of that mystery since the beginning of time and we have no clue either.

1. We Can Be Beer Snobs

No. 660: Don’t ask me why my Stella is in a wine glass. It’s not. Get your beers straight.

? Leigh Metherell, 22, Brooklyn

2. We Notice Sex Appeal, Too

No. 867: We think at least two of your friends are hot.

? Lauren Cusimano, 24, Phoenix

3. Our Daily Intake

No. 477: Men don’t know how much we really eat. Really.

? Natalia Angel, 22, London

4. Things That Make Us Go “Aww”

No. 908: Despite what we say, you holding a baby with complete confidence is an absolute aphrodisiac. Put the baby down and come touch me.

? Jennifer Trinh, 24, Irvine, California

5. We Like How You Get When You Explain Things

No. 220: We may say we enjoy watching Top Gear or the Lakers, but really more than anything we enjoy seeing how teaching us about Top Gear and the Lakers boosts your confidence.

? Courtney Harper, 23, Sherman Oaks, California

6. Fashion Failures Are Not Sexy

No. 47: Never. Wear. Neon.

? Carolynn Johnson, 26, Brooklyn

7. Subtle Can Be Very Sexy

No. 732: We’ll take nice forearms over six-pack abs any day.

? Jennie Engelhardt, 26, New York

8. Don’t Compare Us to Our Mothers

No. 22: Turning into our mothers is an inevitable fear we live with on a daily basis. Calling this to our attention at any point is a terrible idea. Just don’t do it.

? Maura E. McGill, 29, New York

9. Avoidance Tactics

No. 18: Sometimes we just complain about “that time of the month” so you’ll leave us alone.

? Kt McBratney, 27, Omaha

10. We Try To Let You Down Easily

No. 388: If you ask for our number a second time and we don’t give it to you, there’s a good chance we can’t remember the first number we gave you.

? Megan McDonnell, 30, Los Angeles

11. We Can’t Figure Ourselves Out, Either

No. 314: Don’t try to figure out what will make us happy. We have been trying to get to the bottom of that mystery since the beginning of time and we have no clue either.

? Michele Pepio, 35, Staten Island, New York

12. Make That a Double

No. 497: We like whiskey. And beer.

? Maura E. McGill, 29, New York

13. Being Metrosexual Is Fine, To A Point

No. 730: We find it creepy when your fingernails are longer and/or shinier than ours. You may get a manicure, but don’t admit it, and don’t enjoy it.

? Eva Meszaros, 25, Brooklyn

14. You Don’t Know What We’re Thinking

No. 642: Men see what women do, but they never know what women think while they are doing it.

?Verena Michaeler, 18, Brixen, Italy

15. Keep Telling Us We Look Hot

No. 616: If you stop with the compliments, then so might our efforts to look as hot as we did when we started dating. Why should we spend time and money that we don’t have in excess when our target audience doesn’t even notice?

? Haiyen Chin, 33, Brooklyn

16. Take a Hint

No. 644: If we offer you gum, it means we want to kiss you later. It’s not an insult. Just take the gum.

? Rhiannon Falzone, 26, Chicago

17. Don’t Be Too Obvious

No. 524: That low-cut top ? we wouldn’t wear it if we didn’t want you to look. Just be discrete about it.

? Whitney Webb, 22, Blacksburg, Virginia

18. Don’t Talk Behind Your Friends’ Backs

No. 85: Women hate when men talk badly about their friends. No matter how bad a friend they are, be supportive. Listen to the drama without being too opinionated. That what we do.

? Danielle Scotti, 23, Pittsburgh

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